I was walking Audrey into Preschool the other day over hearing a conversation a women was having on her cell phone. She was obviously talking to one of her girl friend's about her husband complaining about their marriage and how he wants sex all the time, but she just doesn't want to give it to him... her own words "he's being so selfish". She said she wanted to work on their marriage their "actual relationship" not their "sex life". I wanted to stop her and tell her she shake her really...your "sex life" has everything to do with your "actual relationship"! She doesn't understand to him, a man sex is the number one need, he needs from his wife. Not just the "release" which is true he does really need this, but the acceptance, and the assurance he feels from his wife. Men need to feel like they are wanted, they need to have their egos stroked, feel desirable and make them feel like they are your hero! When you deny sex from your husband he feels like you don't love him. If having sex with your husband, making him feel loved and wanted makes your marriage better...then to me why not do it? So he wants it once a day. It just once a day, and lets be real it's not like it lasts very long...what you can't give him 15 minutes of your time?? And really more like 3 times a week will do. lol
This woman was sitting there saying... me me me... I want this and that from him, but I'm not willing to give him what he wants???! This doesn't make any sense to me! You give him what he wants and he will in turn give you what you want. Men are simple, way more simple than we are. You give a man a good meal and some lovin and he's happy as can be. When he's happy, he will make you happy too. It's a two way street! Come on ladies stop making excuses like "I'm too tired." or "I'm just not in the mood." If you have an open mind, come on you know you'll get in the "mood" eventually. He really physically, and emotionally needs this from you. You can do it! You will be surprised how much better your "actual relationship" will be... seriously!
Ok I'm done. :D
Oh Wait no I"m not haha....I recommend reading the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands it really is a great book!
8 comments:
I agree. Its about thinking about the other persons needs more than your own. But in this woman's defense she might have a crappy husband. I did things for Dan all the time and it never changed anything. I also think some woman have a really low sex drive and it is really hard for them to get in the mood. Realistically this lady probably doesn't fit into those categories. lol
Yeah, I love sex too ;P
I'm not saying everything will change if you give them sex. But she was not giving him any, and that's all he wanted lol If she wants things to get better, then she's gonna have to give him what he wants! lol
Also I think it's not about getting in "the mood" it's about giving him what he needs :) Whether you are in the mood or not! :D
I agree Danya! lol
Taylor, I just saw this post, and I wholeheartedly agree! Not only do they need it, but it is the primary way that they know how to express their love to us. So while she wants him to be more loving to her, she is cutting him off from the best way he knows how.
How hard is it to get in the mood? And when you've been married forever, sex can be really efficient.
As far as Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands -- I've found that you can eliminate all her suggestions but the sex and still have a very happy husband. :)
I am just now reading this and I HAVE to comment!
First of all YES, you are right! Men AND woman need sex. The untruth is that just men need it. If you are "Not in the mood" or "Have a headache" You probably haven't figured out your body all that well. Truth is that if you read some good books there is ALOT of ways for woman to enjoy and LOVE sex every single time. I'd say that 98% of the time I am in the mood and happy to oblige my husband. The other 2% I am willing to have sex even if it's not exactly the first thing on my mind, by the end it is the first thing on my mind. I actually love the book His Needs, Her Needs because it make both spouses aware of the others needs. It discusses how intimacy starts with AFFECTION (which is a woman's number one need) I think that if your spouse is primarily concerned with fulfilling your needs you can focus on his (SEX!) lol.
i love this post. i can't tell you how many times i've wanted to tell countless women this same thing.
ps. how bout we refrain from the sex talk until my sexy hot Lover comes home. yea?
Thank you all for your comments! I'm happy to hear I'm not the only women who feels this way!
Hussy I will try to refrain from sex talk ;) when does your hubby get home?
Well i heart sex so there!!
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