Molar Pregnancy...What the What???

My life in the past 9 months has been all over the place.

I'm a busy mom of 4 children.

I feel like I have a lot on my plate all the time.

Demands constantly coming at me.

Cleaning always to be done.

Needs always to be met

Sacrifices to be made

Day in and out.

Don't get me wrong I love being a mom and wife.

I love my husband and children.

But it's not easy taking care of all of them! haha

Then last summer happened.

I had been trying to get pregnant for a year.

Then finally a pregnancy test came out positive!

I was so excited.

I had several friends and a sister-in-law who were pregnant at the time too.

All our babies would be born within months of each other!

I can't tell you how thrilled I was.

I set up my 8 week doctors appointment. 

I had more cramps, and pains than I had compared to my previous pregnancies.
So, I wanted to get in asap.
Normally I wait until I'm 4 months along to go to the Obgyn.

I was nervous.

And rightly so.

The doctor did an ultra sound and there was no baby!
I was sitting there...like what?

I had a few more tests done while I was at the doctor's office.
I sat there by myself in the room trying not to cry.
Then the doctor came in and confirmed there was no baby.
I just started crying, the poor doctor trying to be so understanding.
He was so sweet.
He said I would probably officially miscarry in a few days.
I went to the car and called my husband... crying and crying.
I'm not a crier!
I was not okay.
My husband tried to console me.
My mom and sisters tried to console me too.
But I was so sad.

Then next day my doctor called again and said my hcg hormones were so high it didn't look like my body would miscarry on it's own.

 I needed a D/C.

That night I went in and had the procedure done and went home.

At this point I was sad.

But I was thinking give me 6-8 weeks and we would start trying for a baby again.
I can do this, no big deal.

Then I got a call from my doctor a few days later telling me I had a molar pregnancy.

What?? What??

What is that?
I had never heard of such thing!

You can learn about it  here.

My doctor gave me a lot of information.

Then I did a lot of research.

So basically the tissue that was growing in my uterus a.k.a not baby

Could cause me to get a disease called trophoblastic disease..which can turn into cancer.

Yay me...right?!

I needed to have 6-12 months of blood tests to make sure I didn't develop this disease.
And if I did developed it, I would need chemo.
Woohoo.
I felt devastated.
I had never had this kind of thing happen.
No health problems ever.
No previous miscarriages.
Why was this happening?!
So I started my blood tests
The only way to monitor whether or not you get this disease is through your hcg levels.
My first  hcg levels were at 160,000.

I needed to get to negative...negative is 4 or under.
I had to go in once a week to have my blood tested.
It took 8 weeks to get to negative.

This meant I probably wan't going to get the disease.
a real YAY!

But I had to continue testing for 6 more months just to make sure.
From here I went in once a month.
Thankfully, every month my test showed negative
 As of a couple weeks ago I passed my 6 month test!

I'm cleared!
Yay!
I feel so grateful I'm healthy and there were no other complications.
I know this isn't the for some women,
and my heart goes out to them.

In these last 9 months there have been lots of ups and downs.
Birth control pills, that made me so sick I could barely get out of bed.
It felt like my hormones were all over the place.
It was crazy, and hard.
But I made it through.
Funny how time can heal you.
Know the saying "time heals all wounds"?
Well, it really is true, in my case anyway.

I'm not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me.
I'm totally fine, I'm actually really good.
I guess I more did this for make people more aware.
Women have miscarriages every day.
I hadn't had one before,
I didn't realize how it would effect me.
Having to deal with the miscarriage is sad and hard all on it's own,
But then to add possible disease and cancer takes it to a whole new level.
 The worry of what's happening to your body feels really intense.
Well it did for me anyway.
Now, I feel way more sympathetic towards to others going through infertility, miscarriage or disease.
At times life is so hard and can feel so cruel.
If  you are going through something hard...I mean who isn't..right?!
I feel for you.
Please hang in there and keep your head up.
I believe it does get better.
Just give it time.

Update: The Carbnite Solution

I see most of my traffic on this blog comes from my carbnite solution posts.  It's been almost a year since I last posted about it... It's about time for an update!

  Have I been able to maintain the weight I lost with CNS? 
No and then Yes. I'm going to be completely honest.  Last December 2013 through February 2014 ended up being a really rough time financially for me and my little family.  During this time I stopped doing CNS and working out altogether.  At the time I couldn't even think diet and exercise.  It was rough, I tell you!  But then I couldn't stand the way I felt... I felt awful.  I decided to change. I decided regardless of what was going on in my life, I would take care of my health.   So, I got back on CNS and started working out again.   Getting back on CNS was so easy. It came naturally, I felt great immediately, and the food was so good!  I really didn't have any problems starting again whatsoever.  Which was such a great feeling.   I dropped the first 6 lbs in the first ten days.   It took a few months to get the rest off, which I expected.  I've been able to maintain my weight since then.. Which has been about 5 months give or take. 

Am I still following The Carbnite Solution? 
Yes, and no.  At this point I'm not looking to loose more weight.  I like the size I am.  I'm more into building muscle.  In order to do this proficiently, I need to add in more carbs, more often.  So, I do one of two things. Either I eat ultra carb during the day and eat a small amount of carbs at night.  And I can do this if I'm doing heavy training the next day.  I do this about 3 or 4 times a week.  Then eat ultra low carb the other days.  (aka carb backloading) Or do  modified version of CNS and have two small carbnites a week. Going 3 or 4 days between each carbnite. I go by how my body feels and how hard I'm training.  Doing this I've been able maintain my weight and build up some much needed muscle. 

I love this way of eating.  This lifestyle really. It gives me the freedom I want, with helping achieve my goals.  My training and my diet are completely lined up, and it feels great!  I love sharing about what I've learned through this whole process.  If you read this and have any questions feel free to ask!  Talking nutrition and training has come quite a passion of mine.   I really can talk for hours about this stuff Haha. 

Out with friends

Nights like tonight make me happy to be alive.  I have great friends.  I have friends who love and care about me, and I'm so grateful for it.  They help make my life that much more enjoyable, doable.  Just yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed with life, dealing with finances, motherhood, cleaning ect.  It seemed so undoable.... If that's a word.  Today I woke up determined to have a better day.  Somehow this day I could see the light coming into my life.  Then later I felt the worries of life bearing down on me again.  Right then my dad called to check on how things are going and I explained how I felt.  His advice?  It's time to have faith, it's your turn to have faith. I listened to him,  I chose to have faith that all will work out.  I knelt down to pray, and peace washed over me.  Everything will work out, this peace told me.  Things started looking up after I made this faithful decision.  Then tonight came.  Two of my friends and I went and had a girls night out.  We drove to the mall and went to a few stores,  and just completely enjoyed each other.  Worry free.  It was amazing.  I even got a free bra from VS!  Thanks to my wonderful friend.... she gave me her extra gift she was given for spending  a certain amount of money. (This is how wonderful my friends are!)  Tonight was much needed.  Heavenly father cares about you, about me.  Cares about what we need.  Even if it's just a night out with a couple friends and a much needed free bra.  I see his blessings he is so willing to give.  I am so grateful for it.

Accomplishing My Goals With Carbnite!

How is carbnite going?
It's as good as I thought it would be!
At this point I've lost all the weight I gained while off carbnite plus 2.5 lbs!
not that I gained a lot of weight....I gained about 5 lbs.
BUT most of that 5 lbs was water weight.
My clothes pretty much fit the same,
 maybe a tiny bit tighter... just a tiny bit.

So ...I accomplished my tentative goals I made back in February.
I'm down 30.5 lbs (since February) like I wanted.
Which means I've officially lost a ALL my pregnancy weight.

AND I'm fitting back into ALL my pre-pregnancy clothes!

I did it.

Not some magic pill or wrap.

Me... my own effort and determination!

You know what?

It feels so good! 

I didn't think I'd do it this fast.

 But thanks to Carbnite and now The Shockeave protocol.
I've done it!
I'm truly amazed.
I wish I could get more people to try carbnite and show them how amazing it is.
It really is the perfect diet for me.
And everyone I know that has given it a real chance,
they love it too!
It's such a fun diet for me.
And I don't think I've ever said a diet is "fun" haha.
I get to eat the food I want,
and I loose fat.
It's fun! haha.

Anyway.... how is Shockwave?

 It's going great!

I am still loving the program,

and I'm seeing results!

I should probably be taking pictures,
as I'm documenting all of this.

But I hate being in pictures.

I'd rather be behind the camera haha.

Which I'll probably regret when I'm older.

Oh well.

It's been great to be on carbnite and doing shockwave.

I can see how the two go together.

I have a long way to go with the muscle definition I want.

But I know I'm on the right track,

I'm definitely stronger,

 and I'm feeling good!

Beginning Again...The Carb Nite Solution!

My hubby and I are starting our second round of  The Carb Nite Solution today!

We both love this diet and want to be on it.

Who knew we would end up loving eating this way??!

It seemed so hard at first.

It literally took us months to really wrap our brains around low carb eating.

Now we are both really excited to start the diet again!

We know what we are doing,

we know exactly how to be successful,

 and we love the food...I mean who doesn't love meat and fat?!

Also this time around I'm following +DH Kiefer's workout plan...which is called The Shockwave Protocol.

 I got a gym pass...which is huge for me.

I've been working out from home for years.

I hadn't been to a gym since I was 19...which was 4 kids and 10 years ago! haha

I've been going to the gym for about 5 weeks now,

and I love every minute I'm there!

Lifting weights feels right.

Anyways... I super excited to see how my body transforms.

Between carbnite and shockwave I should get really good results!